Narcissists choose destructive behavior. A test….

This is really true… And although it’s written from a male-narc point if view, it applies equally to female narcs as well.

https://www.facebook.com/ManBustersSurvivingASociopath/posts/539242059484253 https://www.facebook.com/ManBustersSurvivingASociopath/posts/539242059484253

Narcissism is the distorted version of reality

“Narcissism is a world that looks like that of everyone else. But it isn’t. It’s the fun house, Alice in Wonderland, Wizard of Oz version of reality where the Mad Hatter rules and the curtain hides a coward and no one is sure of what they see and everything is distorted.”

More reading and resources here:

http://www.narcissisticabuse.com/

A reader’s plea for help……..

Here is a post by a guest reader who is in need of some help and hope.  If anyone knows of anything that can help, it would be most appreciated.

I wasn’t allowed to date until I was 18. My first date was with a Quarterback in my School’s football team. I had ordered my dinner at the Steak & Ale he took me to along with root beer. I had to use the ladies room, came back and started to eat my salad and steak, drinking water first then my root beer…it wasn’t after long that I started feeling dizzy, and we were about to leave anyway. I was able to get into his car fine, but little did I know he had crushed and added to my root beer what was popular back then – Qualludes. I was raped in his car, and never told my parents until a few weeks later because I was so ashamed of myself for allowing it to happen. My Father hit the roof and my Mother held me so close and wouldn’t stop crying…she then told me she had been raped by her Brother in law the day of her wedding in her Mother’s attic where she was changing for the wedding. None of the family was ever told, but me…and it was only because I was also raped..it explained why she was always so protective of me when I was growing up. My Uncle always told everyone his nose was broken in football, but I knew it was broken by my Father who beat the hell out of him when he had found out. My Father wanted to sue the boy’s Father that raped me, but I urged him not to and to just let it go… He did, but since my Father was a powerful man, he also saw to it that the boy’s Father got fired from every job he ever went to. I don’t know how long this lasted, I just remember my Father telling me about the Father being fired “once again”. 

I’m recently divorced from a long and very violent Domestically Abusive relationship with a man I should have never married. He did drugs and a lot of unethical things I did not like or approve of – and none of my family liked him either. I don’t know why I ever stayed and submitted to the abuse I did besides the fact that my sense of self respect was completely broken – my ex would always be telling me I was nothing but a piece of shit and would never find anyone to love me, and if I ever left him (which I tried often, but received beating after beating) he would have me cut up and spewn in the river/ocean, and that no one would miss me anyway because no one really loved me. I wasn’t allowed to have any children for a very long time, but then he finally agreed to stop doing the drugs he was so that his sperm would be clean for my child. When I found out I was going to have a girl, my heart dropped. I was terrified that our “family traditional rapes” would continue with her, besides growing up in a mans world where women aren’t truly respected or appreciated. The pregnancy went a month longer than it was supposed to, and I refused any type of medication because I didn’t want my baby to get it into her system. My Daughter was born, and from the first moment I saw and held her she was my precious gift from God that I would guard with my life the same my Mother had me. I lost my family because no one liked him, and he kept me isolated – rarely letting me see my family much less my parents. My oldest brother had put a restraining order on my ex-husband once when he had been beating on me while I was holding my 8/9 month old daughter, which I released through the torment and promises from my ex-husband.

My Daughter grew to be a gorgeous, intelligent, advanced young lady and we were closer than any Mother and Daughter were…and everyone saw and knew it – until she got involved with the “wrong crowd”, and they completely turned her against me…so much so that she felt the need to lie to the courts about supposed abuse at my hands, so that she could protect her friends from getting into trouble with the law for several illegal things they coerced her into doing, which broke my heart. Each day after I lost custody of her I would search through the internet to see if I could find how she looked, what she was doing, if she was safe, etc. One day I started finding pictures of her with my ex-boyfriend in his house’s bathtub, in the shower, etc. These pictures of my daughter with him disgusted me, and I knew the only possible way he could have coerced her into the situations was to drug her. I immediately gave the evidence to the Prosecutors office, and when they spoke to her she completely denied it was her, even though the quality of the picture is grainy(I think from the smoke alarm camera) you can plainly see the burn on her arm from getting cookies out of the oven years ago. I know every inch of my daughters body, and I know they were pictures of her…the only thing is I don’t know who, how or when the pictures were taken. I recognize the tub and shower as being his….and I know she hadn’t done this willingly because she told me she thought he was ugly. This man, who was then 38 while she was 14/15, had fake smoke alarms throughout his house with cameras in them. He was a very disturbed person that (once again) I felt sorry for and tried to help (just like my ex-husband and his drug addiction which then changed to alcohol addiction and my pain pills addiction…which he confessed to the court-ordered psychologist he had been self-medicating…with what else, but my prescriptions for pain…I had knee operations, etc. When I told my ex-boyfriend I wouldn’t be allowing him to be around my Daughter anymore because I thought he was getting too chummy with her by playing xbox incessantly, he exploded. We part ways.

I haven’t talked or been able to hold my baby for almost two years now. I missed her 16th Birthday party, which absolutely killed me. Her Father has kept his promise to make my life as miserable as he could now that we are divorced, and is basically terrorizing me himself, and through various friends in various levels of serving Government agencies…so much that most of my mail throughout the divorce had been intercepted by his friend in the central station for our state. I never understood why he was intercepting all my mail besides trying to stop my Tevis claim of abuse throughout the marriage, but a couple weeks ago he had filed for a TRO because I couldn’t wait any longer and tried to get my Daughter back by texting her – which my current therapist said there would really be no harm, but I was afraid of being arrested for it. So, I texted her and it lead to my ex-husband texting, threatening and filing for a restraining order on me. 

I received the TRO from one of his friends in the local police department, and then I began to finally comb through all of the mail I did receive from the courts – reading everything. I hadn’t before because my ex-husband and his unethical attorney had kept me busy with bullshit…as if in a scrimmage game, and low & behold finally found out exactly why all my mail was being intercepted. It was proven and submitted to the Court that he had “inappropriately touched & raped my Daughter” at the age of 4/5. I now know why I was constantly denied the ability to see my Divorce file in the Courthouse.

I was FLOORED when I read this, and assembled a plea for reversal of the TRO and return of my Daughter who had unjustly been taken out of my custody.

Every second of every day that she’s been gone it kills me. I’ve searched high and low state and nation wide for help in getting my daughter back, with NO LUCK…including the FBI. My ex-husband’s best friend is a detective for the DEA, and has helped him regain all of his weaponry that had been confiscated, while all of my guns that I bought and inherited from my Father are in the local Police Department for “safe keeping”.

I am completely at my wits end, and thank you for allowing me to have this posted anonymously through your facebook page. 

I’m praying my Daughter will be returned to me soon, and her Father and my ex boyfriend end up in jail as soon as possible.

If anyone knows any way to help I would so greatly appreciate it.